Why is it that?……Part 5……Toxy’s Airplane Adventure

Whenever I fly to destinations outside of the Middle East, I always try to take night flights. I love leaving Kuwait in the depths of the night and waking up – after a peaceful night’s sleep – in a new country, rested and refreshed.

I’m currently in Milan, Italy.

Since there are no direct flights from Kuwait to Milan, my best option was to take the Lufthansa flight via Frankfurt leaving Kuwait at 2:20 am.

I was looking forward to checking out the Lufthansa planes as I’ve heard a lot of good things about them. Wireless Internet, reclining beds, excellent food were just some of the plaudits I kept hearing about.

I boarded the plane and took my seat.

After a quick fiddle with the multitude of buttons on the seating console, I was pretty disappointed to find that the ‘beds’ in Business were rubbish in comparison to ‘beds’ on British Airways.

I pushed back as hard as I could, but the seat only reclined to the guy (who was sitting behind me’s) knees. Unless there were some hidden button that I missed – there was no ‘bed’ to be found on this flight.

I got the laptop out and gave the airwaves a quick scan in search of the much fabled ‘wireless internet’….no luck….nothing found.

Edit: Ifound out that the ‘beds’ and the internet are only available on the newer planes. Deary me….

Oh well, I really wasn’t too bothered, it was fast approaching 3:15 am and I was tired and ready to sleep.

The cabin was pitch black and the only noise was from the distinct humming of the engines. I made myself comfortable, wrapped the cover around me and closed my eyes….


And there it was…..

right next to me….

That click, that dreadful, dreadful click of the ‘private reading light.’

That’s right folks. It couldn’t have been better planned even if I tried.

The guy sitting adjacent to me decided he needed to start reading his book at 3:16am – right after I just nestled into my snooze position.

Why is it that every single time I travel anywhere on a night flight – I always end up sitting next to the dude who:

  • reads his book the entire duration of the flight
  • snores like a hog
  • puts his Television headset on obtrusively loud and then FALLS ASLEEP
  • eats a repulsively smelly meal that no one else orders (subsequently passing wind for the rest of the night)
  • has some kind of bowel disorder and needs to go to the bathroom every 5 minutes

So….thanks Mr. Book reader, who ever you are….without you – my plane ride just wouldn’t have been complete.


6 Responses to Why is it that?……Part 5……Toxy’s Airplane Adventure

  1. O.J. says:

    Yo Toxy! Put that friggin’ eye-patch thingy on. That’s why they’re there for!!

    On another note, did that guy not notice you pull out the camera from beneath the covers and snap a photo of him? Lol…very tactful 🙂

  2. Fonzy says:

    u shud have asked for one of those double eye patch thingies. to me the worst would be the guy farting cos there is nothing u can do about it

  3. moocherx says:

    other passengers drive me mad. i always end up sitting behind the first person on the plane to put their seat back – which, until all planes upgrade to the new-style business class seats can still cause a problem when you want to get across your neighbour to use the bathroom. Also, why is it that the guy whose head is in my lap is ALWAYS bald?

  4. Fonzy says:

    moocherx… i agree with all u said, i got the same problem man. but i do have one question….. why do u have a GUYs head in ur lap anyway?:P

  5. moocherx says:

    Fonzy: if only I could choose who sits in front of me, next to me… trust me – fat bald men, and any kids would ALL be sent to the back!

  6. thats bad…but its better than havinga child crying behind you….this always happens to me….can u believe it?

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